Kuya...


In our childhood, we always look up to our elders to guide us, to make us feel happy, to reassure us... to be always there for us...

I had an elder brother. He was five years older than me. They said that he takes after my grandfather who was of Spanish and German descent. He was the most good-looking in the family... So I've heard... The first son, the second among the brood of five... 

It is just so sad that I am not able to meet him in this life, for he left this world three years before I came to life... a very tragic loss in the family...

Perhaps, he was really not meant to live for I am now living. Perhaps, the reason for his demise was for another soul to take his place... a soul who would one day dream and aspire to become as great as he can be... me... 

 Perhaps if he was destined to live, the life that I am currently leading would have been totally different... I would have never been this strong... I would have never become the person that I am now...

But still, I yearned that he be alive so that I would have somebody to look up to in my growing up years even until now... I would have become his dear friend, a doting uncle, an immediate support, the pillar of the family... I would have lived in carefree...

Despite his untimely demise, he must have left his will in me for we must have conversed while I was still an itinerant spirit and he, a returning soul... 

I may have lost him, but he now lives in me...

And so my life took on its current route...The elder brother whom I had been yearning for became the elder brother in me to my younger brothers and to those who are young, I consider as family...

For a life may have been lost for another soul to live...


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